Things I have learned:
There is a time and a place for flirting with a handsome and witty older boy.
When you've been in a relationship for almost seven months, you are not in that time or place.
When your family has no source of income and still lives the lavish"ish" life of pre-unemployment, college is most likely out of your mediocre-report-card arena.
Sometimes, people lie to you.
Even when they tell you they're not lying.
It is extraordinarily difficult to overdose on Tylenol PM or Advil.
Don't laugh at me.
Fanfiction can sometimes be stupid.
If you didn't catch the sarcasm in "sometimes", then you're stupid.
Just because there's a hole in something, does not mean you should stick your finger in it.
(That's what she said)
Even though my personality may remind you of Amber Tamblyn's character in "Joan of Arcadia", I'm not "just like her". I think you're forgetting the main part of the show.
I don't speak to God through the form of people in my town.
Over sized lollipops are useless.
You think they're going to be magnificent until you realize they taste like stale cherry cough syrup and you've wasted five dollars on maybe 15 licks.
People are going to look at you strangely if you start reciting comedy bits they've never heard before.
They'll also look at you strangely if you're talking to an imaginary duck (Mind you, all these come from experience).
It is, in fact, possible for someone to become angry with you for apologizing too much.
When you lend a stranger a dollar to do a magic trick, you're probably not going to get the dollar back.
You'll also be spiteful for the rest of the day.
Even though someone may tell you he'll be there for you soon, he might not be for another two and a half weeks.
Even if the aforementioned "he" is your significant other.
Bees suck.
I think that one is pretty self explanatory.
Just because you can sing the fifty states song, doesn't mean you should.
Especially if it's right before the previews of a suspense movie.
You might make people angry.
When buying 2,500 toy soldiers on ebay, pray to whatever god you may that you don't lose interest in them before they arrive.
Then you'll just be stuck with two giant boxes of toy soldiers and long explanations for the next three weeks.
Don't ever gamble on how much food you can eat at a Thai restaurant.
Either way, you lose.
-Voyager
